Running is a passion of mine. And its a strange discovery late in life that I found I had such an enthusiasm for it. I hardly ever exercised as a child, preferring to stick my nose in Piers Anthony books or clustered around a role playing table killing balloon people or romping around Homlett. I first began running when I was 16 as I started playing soccer. Of course, I wasn’t fast or in shape, but I found that I had an inborn characteristic. I had the ability to endure.

Running is quite simple – its like project management. You regulate your pace and breathing in a steady rhythm all the while observing the growing aches and pain in your body and muscles. Its really the second part that I found my strength in – the ability to productively suffer. For me, it was either inborn or developed at an early age in activities outside of athletics. But its discovery was similar to when a jaybird leaves the nest and discovers it can fly.

When you are in sufficient shape you can enjoy two benefits. The first is the runner’s high, what I’d also say is similar to a second wind. Its almost like running is the natural harmony, or tao, of your body. The second is that your mind can wander, drift into either mindless focus or traipsing across the mild musings of unpaid bills to existential reflection.

I recently read a quote that I found profound, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” And the truth is that pain is just a sensation that is interpreted by the brain. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a sound? No, because the sound wave has to be interpreted. The same is true for pain.

There are times in my life when I take note of what I’ve accomplished, who I am, and where I am going. I’m a brooder and revisit these things more frequently than most. And most of the time I wear myself out with my own self-criticisms. That inescapable weight within my chest that I’m failing to achieve my potential as I inevitably draw closer to end, the precipice.

The best analogy that I can make is that life is running. Most of us, myself included, run from stop to stop. Think of it as catching a train. We sprint, sprint, sprint, grab the train and then relax, letting life take us along until the next time we decide to change directions or destinations. Its easier that way – apply our focus on a series of short objectives and then coast. Think of it as getting a new job, marrying, having a child. But really, most of the time we are being carried by the flow of life downstream. Show up to work, work eight hours, come home, eat dinner, entertainment, sleep. Repeat.

Others treat life like a marathon. A consistent, persistent run towards the goal. Think of applying the same energy and focus to your daily life as on the same day you were laid off. The hyper-focus, attention, organization, drive, and ambition. Imagine the courage and strength you’d summon if someone or something threatened your family. Trust me that when you’re running miles and miles on end, you feel every long second. Its harder to maintain the effort, its scary to rely solely on your discipline and desire, but it’s reward is far greater.

I’ll be the first to excuse myself for not living to this ideal, because “its impossible”. But is it? Think of any of great icon and you’ll probably find a life lived deliberately. MLK, Gandhi, Mandela. Dylan Thomas had his first book of poetry published at only 20 years of age. The great men and women in our collective histories have had this drive and you can find it everywhere. In the entrepreneur, the all-star athlete, the activist.

I read this in a Anthony Robbins book – it took Col. Sanders (yeah, the KFC guy) over 1,000 attempts to find someone to try his chicken recipe. Walt Disney had to approach over 30 banks to get funding for Disney World. There are numerous proverbs to this end, “Make everyday your best day” or “Carpe Diem” and on and on.

Here’s the depressing part – if I even had the moxie to try beyond the gleeful imagining and big talk, I am sure I would have given up almost immediately. Despite my love of running, my grand ideas, and will I ever run the marathon?

My greatest fear is that the twilight of my life will settle on me and I’ll discover that I’ve wasted all of my days on video games, TV shows, role playing, and sleeping. Is it a curse that I’ve got great expectations for myself without the grit to achieve it?

The other universal truth about running and every journey is that it begins with the first step. I can stand alone at the starting blocks watching the other runners widen the gap, chasing down their own dreams or I can set my course and take the first step. Awkward at first, maybe even painful, but as long as I’m moving. I can’t guarantee that I’m evening running in the right direction, but I promise to myself that I’ll run as hard and as long as I can. I’ll be adaptable, open to new paths, and undaunted by obstacles and hurdles.

As I get stronger in my run, catch my second wind, perhaps I’ll look back at my first 31 years and wonder:

What the hell took so long?