This column is going to highlight some of the things that I’m into as of late. Maybe it’ll make more sense if I just get started.

Shockwave 0.951: I’m an RTS freak (real-time strategy for the uninitiated). I prefer tech over medieval, turtling over peon rush, evil over good. Imagine my horror when Warcraft III didn’t allow you to build walls in skirmish mode. Those bastards. More farms, lads! One of the best RTS games ever created IMO is C&C Generals and the Zero Expansion pack. As this game is nearly five years old, the rust and age are clearly evident when compared to Company of Heroes of C&C3. But thanks to the modding community, this game lives on in its missile defender-filled humvee glory.

Shockwave is one of three awesome mods for this game. The others are Contra 3 Alpha Remix and the Capellan Solution (Battletech). The high degree of work and detail put in by the volunteer mod community is impressive and its extended Generals far beyond its normal shelf life to the point where I play it several times a week.

My only request is that someone would take Generals and make a GI Joe v. Cobra mod. I’ve already mentally composed my checklist of units and factions. For example, move over Col. Burton … here comes Snake Eyes.

Lou Rawls: Imagine my dismay when I was born to realize that my skin was the wrong color. I’m a whitey. But I’m convinced that I should have been a few shades darker. Here is some empirical evidence. At my friend’s graduation party & barbeque (fyi, he’s black), they had a dance floor. Being unabashed I went out and danced. In this particular family, all of the young people are six foot, two hundred pound football playing men. Even the half-Nigerian kids. So my admiring audience was a bit limited, but I assure you that after I finished dancing a cluster of 40-something black women, led by Aunt Flo, came to me and professed “Robert … you got moves!” My nickname since that time with that family has been White Chocolate. Unfortunately, www.whitechocolate.com was alread registered.

Part of my misplaced identity is my taste in music. While I love and cherish all things West Coast and g-funk, my favorite genre is 70s soul, R&B, and funk. Enter Mr. Al Green – the truth, the light, the legend. Since I was accidentally born to a white family in Oklahoma and my cultural heritage is the Oak Ridge Boys, Loretta Lynn, and Anne Murray, I’m having to discover new artists on my own. Artists such as Grover Washington, Bill Whithers, James Booker, Curtis Mayfield, et al.

The latest discovery is Lou Rawls, the so-called Funkiest Man Alive. With a moniker like that you know he’s been showered with more panties than a Vegas strip club. He’s the man. I’m really digging “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine” right now.

Chai: Nixon’s plan for “peace with honor” during the Vietnam War was based on the concept of Vietnamization. Basically, this means giving the South Vietnamese more tools, equipment, training, and support for their soldiers to fight the Viet Cong directly. Inevitably, I’ve been going through my own Vietnamization since I married nearly three years ago. We stay with her family every weekend and they are very involved in basically everything we do. Everything.

One of my sisters told me that I was sounding more and more Australian once after I moved over here, that I was losing my Okie accent. I didn’t believe her because I was spending absolutely no time with Australians.

Part of this Asianness is a discovery of chai tea as a preferred beverage. Lately, I’ve been drinking it more than water, milk, juice, and even Sprite combined. Morning, noon, and night. Beyond its wonderful taste, chai is particularly convenient for two reasons – first its winter here and hot tea warms the soul. Second, there are nearly zero carbs. Remember, I’m a fat bastard and I need to lose 30 pounds.

Some of the other Vietnamizations include taking off my shoes inside, generally being quiet, boiling water and storing it, chop sticks, wrapping everything in plastic bags, the cuisine, and Eucalyptus back scratches with a sharp coin.

Wearing a Watch: When I was younger, my mom got me a brand new Casio watch and I wore it everywhere. Navy blue. I found myself constantly checking the time to the point where I became a slave to it. In a bold decision, I cast off my plastic shackle and refused to wear it. This of course was the seventh Casio watch over a period of three years. For the next fifteen years I went without a watch. Once I got a cell phone after college, I had the time handy so I didn’t feel the reason to wear one.

When I was a consultant working for American clients in Australia, the consideration of two drastically different time zones became a concern. I set my laptop computer to CST. When I traveled for work, things got confusing particularly balancing departure and arrival times in five different time zones. So I asked for a silver sports watch one Christmas with dual time, one set to CST and the other to AEST. The end result? I only wore my watch when I was traveling.

Now that I’m free from the corporate hullabaloo, I’ve started wearing my watch all the time. Maybe its because I think it makes me look successful or professional. Maybe its because my wife complains that I never use anything that she buys me – the watch, chap stick, soap – the list goes on and on.

Mixed Martial Arts: I have to admit that I’ve always been a fan of this, but I was either without the means or the interest to watch as much as possible. After John McCain called the early UFC “human cockfighting” it essentially went underground until it re-emerged with more rules, more polish, and more exposure. Now I’m watching everything I can. Including Youtube videos, the Human Weapon, Fight Quest, Ultimate Fighter, Muay Thai boxing, the Contender Asia, etc.

My wife was an Australian karate champion multiple times back in her heyday, so she gleefully watches with me. My comments are more in line with the Chris Tucker – D-Bo expletive while she makes more technical observations. She’ll even wake up at 2am to watch UFC … while she was pregnant. Yep, that’s my sweetheart.

I’m convinced that should I be rousted by a gaggle of local ruffians (bogans) I’d be able to transfer my television knowledge into actual martial prowess and defeat the miscreants without worry. If I say Hadouken! when I knock one of them out, then that’s me living the dream.