Child Porn Ring Actually Hobbits
ZURICH, Switzerland (AP) A Greek international was released from Interpol custody today after it was found his collection of 120,000 explicit images, originally thought to be child pornography, was in fact just hobbits. The suspect, Giorgio Doxiadis, was released from custody with an official apology from the European police after being detained for two weeks after a routine inspection at airport customs. Officials say that the maiming he received while in custody was standard operating procedure learned from interrogation experts on loan from the United States.
Doxiadis, a Greek entrepreneur and businessman, has founded the first European sex company focused on halflings. The company, Hobbit Nobs, focuses on distributing images, films, and gadgets from a series of international suppliers. The main title according to the Hobbit Nobs website is the Dildo Baggins 2008 In The Hobbit Hole as well as the 2006 release, Gandalf’s Magic Rod.

Interpol police were ready to press charges against Doxiadis on possession and distribution of child pornography. Despite seemingly overwhelming evidence, Doxiadis maintained his innocence. Careful review of the materials supported the defense of the Greek business man leading to his release.
“It was their hairy feet that clued us off,” said one Interpol investigator that wished to remain anonymous.
According to Chief Inspector Stefan Stefanopoulos this type of pornography has grown since the release of Fellowship of the Ring (2001). “First, it was just in New Zealand and now its everywhere.” The latest trend in this new international interest is apparently halfling porn. “Prior to this … it was mostly elf on elf action … forest stuff you know. But with lately, its been the little people. I shudder to think of the cave trolls ever become popular. Oh the humanity.”
With the influx of elven and Hin pornography, other aspiring actors from the other LotR races are lining up for their big screen debut. There are still no reports of dwarves bursting on the sex market and industry experts contend that as long as the middle east remains fundamental Muslim the hairy, bearded midgets will not become main stream. Aspiring film star and dwarf Limply continues to hope for his big break. The goblin films remain underground and are illegal for possession.
Upon his release, Doxiadis was jubilant to be exonerated. He also used his brief media coverage to announce a few of the newest products coming from Hobbit Nobs.
“I’m glad to be free and to restore my reputation as a hobbit pornographer. I’d like to announce a new collaboration between the nephew of Dildo, Homo Baggins, and his close associate, Ramwise Gamgee, in Sneaking Into Sauron’s Back Door.”
There is no telling if Dildo Baggins and his ilk will dislodge the current number one adult film star from the Middle Earth, the elven actor Tag-A-Lass, known for his roles in Elrond Half-Pelvic (2002), The White Wizard of Nice-n-hard (2004), and the Rump Rangers of Ithilien (2007).
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How about:
Swallowum
Mericock
Slamaman
Peorn
Ragged Ass
“The Fill-My-Rim-Again”
How about “They’re in Back Again”