Oklahoma City Thunder
The Seattle Supersonics no longer have an NBA team. There has been a lot of crying in lattes over the last few months over their hostile transfer to Oklahoma City, which has been aptly described as an over grown cow town. Puget Sound is a sad, sad place. The hackey sack is not kicked, the grunge music not played, the flannel unfolded. Poor Seattle. But in every sad moment there is a silver lining and that lining is that the 45th largest television market in America has finally won the first professional sports team for the great state of Oklahoma.
If you’re an American, then you root for the underdog. It’s as natural for us as Appalachian State v. Michigan, Mr. Smith v. Washington, Georgia v. Russia. It harkens back to our own humble national beginnings in the face of the British Empire on which “the sun never set” as it spanned the entire globe. Somehow, some way we won and have been cheering for lovable losers ever since.
How then can you not swell your chest with pride that Oklahoma has finally gotten (by hook or crook) their first major sports franchise? We didn’t even make the short list for MLS. Oklahoma has long been the place of misery and woe. See the Dust Bowl. It’s like the Great Depression wasn’t enough, Oklahoma has to get one of the seven plagues of Egypt ontop of the economic hardship. I don’t want to hear any whining from Delaware, lucky bastards. But our pioneering spirit and never say die attitude has kept us marching without rest, albeit marching in place.
Some people vilify how we got the sports team. How do I respond? Up yours. That’s right, we stole your team fair and square. Our state is home to Native America and guess what … the mini-mall where you buy your frappuccino? That was once Indian land. We’re not the sharpest tools in the drawer, but we know how to play with the round eye. Finders, keepers. If you wanted to keep the Sonics in Seattle, try buying tickets to see the games. Boo hoo. Now you’ve only got TWO other pro sports to choose from (Seahawks & Mariners).
Professional sports is not new to Oklahoma. I did claim that the new NBA team would be the first major pro, but we have a long history of professional athletes. Thanks for the memories, Barry Switzer. The first coach that recognized winning is more important than morals, talent more important that character. Just look at Miami? I’d trade my alma mater’s sports legacy (OSU) for theirs in a heart beat accepting all of their idiots and criminals with open arms. Welcome to the Wormy Dog!
So then with our new sports franchise – the debate begins on what to call them. I for one hate singular nicknames, like the Heat, the Magic, the Galaxy, etc. I also strongly feel that the team name should be emblematic to the city or area that its located. Such as the Detroit Pistons, New England Patriots, and the Moscow Invaders.
There isn’t much that OKC is known for even to Oklahomans other than cows and oil. Of course, we have our local features, such as Bricktown. What an ominous name for a soon to be host of a basketball team. It’d be like having your football stadium on Fumble Blvd.
I’m against calling us the Oklahoma Cows or Herd or Cattle. Why does Chicago get the Bulls? It can’t be because of the stock market, right? Bulls and bears? I also hate teams named after Oil. It’s like calling us the OKC Wellspring of Evil. We are in fact the only state in the union that held a pro-war rally for Iraq II: the Revenge. Naming your sports team after oil is kneeling at the dark altar of soulless commercialism. Kinda like naming a Washington DC team the Bullets.
The owners of the OKC team registered patents on the following names, which gives us the short list of options: the Barons, Marshalls, Thunder, Energy, Bisons, and Wind. WTF?! What idiot decided that Wind should be on the short list? What a reach and the ramifications are potentially disastrous. If a visiting team beats us, are they breaking Wind? Just terrible. Only a state like Kansas should be cursed with such a name.
I don’t want to destroy the drama of the official unveiling, but apparently a web master at NBA.com accidently posted the new team name: the Thunder. It was quickly removed a few hours later, along with that poor bastards desk and personals. As a former IT professional – that happens all the time. Oopsy!
So the Thunder is 1 for 2 on my rules. It’s regional – the great thunderstorms of Oklahoma are objects of legend. I grew up there and it was always fun to play soccer underneath the thunderheads with the occasional peal of thunder. All of the foreign exchange students would hit the deck in sheer panic while us Okies ignored it. Or the time when we’d all gather on our fraternity roof to watch the approaching tornadoes. Hey, I said we were durable, not bright.
But Thunder is also singular. I think that a better name could have been considered. How about the Bombers? Dyess Air Force base was home to the B1-B Bomber. Or the Boomers? Boomer sooner! Or the Farts? Sorry, I’m still stuck on Wind. Some East Coast marketing guru needs a swift kick to the crotch on that one. Here is a stream of consciousness of name ideas: Wranglers, Twisters, Tornadoes, Outlaws, Pioneers, Bandits, Buckaroos, Riders, Cyclones.
I have to admit that I kinda like Buckaroo, just because my mom would call me that when I was getting lectured as a kid. “If you think you can hide mash potatoes in the VCR, you’ve got another thing coming, Buckaroo!”
So, we’re the OKC Thunder. What do you think?
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I think the Thunder is one of those names that sounds OK right now and in the end, will just sound OK forever. Nobody thinks much of the Magic, and nobody probably ever will. I wonder what sound they will play in the arena when the team comes on the court?
I would have gone out on a limb and gone with Barons – sure it’s a little hokey, perhaps too good old days/set shot era. It may not have gone over that well at first, but over time I think that would have been the best long-term choice for the team to have a true, unique identity, which is the best chance this team has to survive in a small market (ala the TrailBlazers).
Bombers would have been great but if you think David Stern was going to let a name like that through – remember we used to have a great name in Washington, now we have the Wizards, gold jerseys, and Gilbert Arenas, instead of the Bullets in red, white, and blue complete with Manute Bol jacking threes. Which would you rather have?
Unfortunately, I think the Thunder will grow in popularity and will turn out to be fine. It’s not my favorite, but Lakers is already spoken for. As a point of interest, I’m not a huge NBA fan. I routed for the Oklahoma City Hornets while I was living in Oklahoma City, but most of my exposure to the NBA comes from participating in a fantasy leaque about six years ago. (I’ve never routed for Shawn Bradley so much in my life.) But still, I’m a sports fan and rank somewhere between Bob Costas and Clay Aiken as far as my sports knowledge. That’s the grain of salt. Here’s my opinion.
No new team name sounds good. They all just sound foreign. Essentially, this is the same situation faced by an expansion team. I didn’t really care for the Diamondbacks or the Devil Rays when they encroached on Major League Baseball. Perhaps it’s their success on the field, but those names don’t bother me now.
My concern is that this will just encourage further harrassment by the other cities and teams. I can’t imagine a viable mascot that accompanies such a moniker. How do you personify Thunder and not make it look like a cloud with legs? Also, how long before other fans start referring to the Thunder in the diminutive form “the Clap?” Did you catch the Clap…game last night? Have you gotten rid of the Clap…tickets yet?
Although I’m not a huge fan of the team name and I will complain about it tirelessly until they bring the Stanley Cup, I mean NBA trophy thing, back to my home state, I think we’ll all accept it eventually. It could be worse. At least we won’t be routing for Sooners.
I tend to agree with Jasko (the Polish Catholic Jew) on this one. I think that (oil) Barons was the best of the lot they came up with. Thunder is generic and sounds like the name of one of the American Gladiators.
Introducing your San Jose Nitro!
Also, the more I think about it … Bombers was a bad idea in light of those ass wagglers McVeigh and Nickels.
Well, I won’t be “routing” for anything. I usually just “root” for teams. Except for shittily named teams. I usually piss all over us. I mean those.
We should have gone with something uber-generic. Like Bulldogs, Knights, Bears, etc. That would have been greatness. The Lakers moniker comes from MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes. LA has nothing to with lakes, so I think The OKC Knights would have been beauty.