Archive for August, 2008
Just Like Old Times
Let’s just run down a quick checklist: The United States is approaching financial crisis. Gas prices are exorbitant. Crime rates and urban poverty soar. We have a militaristic Republican President running up our national debt like its grannie at the $2 slots. We’re in a growing standoff with Iran and their hirsute hardliner. And just in case that’s not enough – there’s a crazy Ivan rolling tanks in all directions from Russia.
Man oh man, it feels just like old times. [Read Column]
She’s a Man, Man
Check out this movie premise that I just spontaneously came up with: Forlorn teenage girl, outcast from her peers, finds redemption, friends, and a load of laughs by inhaling every steroid available and wins shot put Olympic gold for her country, winning back her family and a new gaggle of friends on her way to accidentally inducing a chemical sex change. Now she can be a man forever!
No, this is not Just One of the Guys II, it’s actually a true story.
Oklahoma City Thunder
The Seattle Supersonics no longer have an NBA team. There has been a lot of crying in lattes over the last few months over their hostile transfer to Oklahoma City, which has been aptly described as an over grown cow town. Puget Sound is a sad, sad place. The hackey sack is not kicked, the grunge music not played, the flannel unfolded. Poor Seattle. But in every sad moment there is a silver lining and that lining is that the 45th largest television market in America has finally won the first professional sports team for the great state of Oklahoma. [Read Column]
And the World Was Less Cool
This year has marked the passing of several famous people dear to my heart: Gary Gygax, George Carlin, Stan Winston … and now there are two others that have joined their ranks. Comedian Bernie Mac and musician, soul crooner Isaac Hayes. And with their passing, the world was less cool. [Read Column]
Vampires Ravage South America
I’m not a particularly superstitious person. But there are some things that I know exist that can’t be seen. Such as the atmosphere, radiation, and of course vampires. Listen to me when I tell you this – the ending scene of Salem’s Lot has come true. Remember? Ben Mears and Mark Petrie confront one of the hundreds of vampire spawn created by Kurt Barlow (the Master) in Central America. I can’t say then that I was the least surprised when I read the following headline on CNN.com: 38 Dead After Being Bitten by Vampire Bats. [Read Column]
