Tacoma WA (AP): In a startling conclusion to the 1987 abduction case of Joanna Stayton, the heiress to the billion dollar fortune has married her abductor upon his release from Deer Ridge Correctional Institution in Oregon after a twenty year prison term and extensive mental counseling.  Stayton had already adopted his gaggle of vagabond children during the high profile trial that sent her kidnapper to prison.

The court case is still fresh in the nightmares of the Elk Cove townspeople.  A local area carpenter, Dean Proffitt (pictured below), who is also known as Dr. Death to his family, was motivated by revenge in his abduction.  Stayton allegedly refused to pay him for his labor in remodeling a closet on her yacht and then allegedly threw his tools overboard. Later while at sea, Stayton disappeared from the deck of her yacht under mysterious circumstances.

In a key point in the 1987 criminal trial, Oregon investigators were unable to establish a satisfactory evidence that Proffitt abducted her from her yacht leaving the jury undecided on a life sentence.  Had any evidence been found, Proffitt would have been successfully breaking and entering and attempted homicide and would have only been eligible for parole in 2022 under the federal law statutes.

Stayton later resurfaced as an amnesiac in a small Oregon coastal town in the clutches of Proffitt who had brainwashed her into assuming another identity, “Annie”, under a veil of lies and indentured servitude.  The Proffitt family was previously known in Elk Cove for the criminal behavior of the young children of the down-on-his-luck father, including attempting to immolate a teacher with gasoline soaked toilet paper.

Assisted by his accompliance “Bad” Billy Pratt, Proffitt convinced the heiress to fill the role of his obedient wife through home remedy torture methods such as manual labor, sleep deprivation, cold water shock treatment, and even cement glue.  He managed to hide the rich heiress in his Around the World miniature golf course that he was secretly building on his vast acreage of wild lands.

When “Annie” discovered her true identity she fled the premises back to her loving family.  During her daring attempt to escape by sea, Proffitt pursued her using a pirated Coast Guard Vehicle.  He vowed to stalk her til the corners of the earth, saying “You’re my Annie and I’ll never let you go.”

In a bizarre twist that has left mental health professionals in absolute shock, suffering from some sort of Stockholm Syndrome, Stayton refused to press charges and even married the down on his luck single father upon his release. She told Barbara Walters in 1992 during a haunting 20/20 interview of their suicide pack, the Arturo-Katerina.  Should either be held, they both promise to jump into cold freezing waters to induce drowning.  Stayton believed that their souls would find each other in the surf, making love forever in the tides, while their bloated bodies were summarily eaten by Puget Sound crab on the sea floor.

This has since led to a string of heiress abductions by indigent rednecks hoping for a similar result.

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I think the above article perfectly illustrates a trend in 80s movies, which I like to call complete ignorance of the law as a integral premise to the plot. In Overboard, a redneck carpenter abducts a mentally ill heiress and then resorts to lies and torture to make her into a slave.  How the hell is this a comedy movie?

For example, the scene in the fun house of Revenge of the Nerds where Lewis Skolnick seduces Betty Childs wearing the Darth Vader helmet is in reality … rape.  Or the cameras secretly inserted into the Pi sorority house to send back nude images?  That movie could not be made today.

I’m scared to go back any further into the 1970s and 1960s into that comedy to see what other types of crimes were funny back then … beating up old ladies?  Throwing puppies into a wood chipper?

Hehe.  Actually, that’s kinda funny.