My wife and I recently bought a house in the country where she has one of her dental practices.  Most houses in Australia fall into one of two categories.  They are either new, art deco pieces of crap the likes you’d see in Miami without the Cuban color palette or 85 years old with tin roofs and brick walls.

Our house falls into the second category.  It’s old, grows cob webs, and is nestled into a jungle-like yard and garden.

We have one bathroom in our new house, which is just great when my wife decides that she wants to spend an hour on the loo, browsing the Internet and chatting with her family.  Are you catching my sarcasm?  Cause I’m laying it on pretty thick.

The one bathroom thing is not exactly true.  The house is actually old enough that its got a largely ignored and disused outdoor toilet adjoined to the back porch, as well.  It doesn’t flush, so I just pick a spot near our annoying neighbor’s fence when my wife has monopolized the crapper for her eBay browsing. [Read Column]

I love soccer.  I’ve been playing it since I was a lad growing up in Oklahoma, a hotbed of proper football.  OK, so soccer is not that huge in Oklahoma … but its just behind football, basketball, baseball, wrestling, table tennis, combat archery, netball, badminton, lacrosse, Shoots & Ladders, and dodge ball.

In truth most of the United States thinks that soccer is boring, low scoring, and dominated by greasy haired Euros and diving South Americans.  It’s become my life goal to bring soccer successfully to America. [Read Column]

This is a video put together by my cousin, Babatunde, and some of his boys.  He’s got lots of crazy stuff that he’s working on as an aspiring filmographer/director/world pimp.  I’ll add more of his stuff very soon. [Read Column]

This is a new column that I’m introducing.  It takes a story-line or fictional universe and asks the question “What if it were real?” and then examining what the hell that means and how it could be true.

So what if Street Fighter II were real? [Read Column]

Tacoma WA (AP): In a startling conclusion to the 1987 abduction case of Joanna Stayton, the heiress to the billion dollar fortune has married her abductor upon his release from Deer Ridge Correctional Institution in Oregon after a twenty year prison term and extensive mental counseling.  Stayton had already adopted his gaggle of vagabond children during the high profile trial that sent her kidnapper to prison. [Read Column]