I recently connected my desktop and high-speed Internet to my living room TV.  I’ve got a laptop and docking station for my desk tucked into my office next to my home gym so I can write in relative solitude.  Just let me brag for a second on my TV.  It’s me preciousss.  I got the TV as a Christmas present.  Ok, in actuality, my wife gave me permission to buy it for myself.  But I don’t care.  It’s a (deep breath) Philips LCD 42″ 1920 x 1080p resolution HDTV with a 29000:1 Contrast Ratio and swivel stand, bitches.  Did I mention I have a Playstation 3?  With a simple mini-jack and a DVI connector, I’m all hooked up for Internet browsing.  And with the Internet … comes Youtube.

This may be old news for the technorati masters that visit LuckyRob.com, but did you know that people actually put FULL movies on Youtube?  I’m not talking about the Star Wars Kid … I’m not talking about the Fart Matrix … I’m talking about complete movies in 10 minute segments.  This means that I can watch those movies on my HDTV now … along with my UFC clips of the ultimate powerbomb.

How these people do it without getting a lawsuit is a mystery to me.  I do know that its not illegal to watch them if they are posted, so take a deep breath.  So then here is a quick list of ten movies you need to check out that are among some of my personal favorites when you’re laid up in an airport with your laptop or you’re looking for a hi-tech, but cheap date with your girl around your monitor with some zagnuts and slurpies.

Mind you there are more movies on Youtube than can be possibly be detailed in a single column, so I encourage you to search for your own personal favorites and I’ll keep adding more to our growing list in subsequent columns.  The great thing is that most of these movies can’t be found in your local video store … don’t mention Netflix to me … I live in Australia.  Sometimes these movies get taken down, so let me know if a link is broken and I’ll amend the column appropriately.

1. Rawhead Rex (1987): You’ll probably notice a trend starting with this first selection.  I love love love B-grade 80s horror movies.  I consider it a childhood well spent.  Any movie that is based on a Clive Barker early short story is pure gold in my book.  Its the movies that are based on his latest stuff or straight to screenplays that truly suck.  So what is this movie about?  A primordial deity is released from a menhir prison in rural England and goes on a killing spree and demonic rampage.  Woo Hoo!  There isn’t a single actor that I recognize and the level of acting only makes this movie even better.  Be sure to check out the baptism scene – its famous.

Start here: Part 1 of 9.

2. Dead Heat (1988): The premise of this movie will blow your socks off.  The lead character, a tough streetwise cop is killed in the first fifteen minutes and then re-animated as a slowly decomposing, yet invulnerable zombie intent on finding his killers.  His name – Roger Mortis.  Brilliant in its own punny pathetic-ness, marvelously portrayed by Treat Williams.  And to sweeten the deal, we have Joe Piscopo in his prime.  Joe Piscopo had a prime?  Pay homage to an aging Vincent Price as well, and lots of over-the-top 80s special effects.  You know before there was CGI to ruin all great FXs?

Start here: Part 1 of 8.

3. American Werewolf in London (1981): This is a classic horror movie that combines genuine scares with clever wit and humor.  What else would you expect form an in-form John Landis?  To make matters even better we’ve got 80s all-stars David Naughton and Griffin Dunne in the lead roles as werewolf and ghoul respectively.  I’m going to let a secret out of the bag – special effects master Rick Baker is in charge and the transformation scene still kicks ass 27 years later.  I’ve got a couple of favorite scenes worth mentioning in a string of awesomeness – the Nazi dream and “a naked American man stole my balloon.”

Start here: Part 1 of 9.

4. 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978): If you consider yourself a martial arts fan or if you possess testicles of any size, you need to watch this movie.  It was a revolutionary film and introduced the awesomeness of Gordon Liu to the United States.  The coolest scenes are 1) showing how the Shaolin monks build up their bodies in each of the training chambers by punching sand, etc and 2) Gordon Liu inventing the three-piece rod.  I don’t know about you, but my rod can barely support two pieces.  Hehe.  Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.  If you need any further encourage to check out this movie, my brother is re-enacting all of the training scenes in his backyard for his own personal path to Nirvana.

Start here: Part 1 of 11.

5. Time Bandits (1981):  Watch this film and you’ll soon discover why director Terry Gilliam is a certified genius.  Firstly, he’s the only American member of Monty Python.  (He did the transition artwork between sketches as well as writing)  He also directed Nike’s 3v3 World Cup commercials with the likes of Henry, Ronaldinho, Robert Carlos, etc.  He did Brazil, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Twelve Monkeys.  This movie is about a trundling gaggle of dimension traveling midgets mucking through history and stealing the most valuable artifacts to get “stinking rich”.  Cameos from Sean Connery and John Cleese round out a stellar cast.  It’s imaginative and otherworldly.

Start here: Part 1 of 12.

6. They Call Me Bruce? (1982): This is a movie about a poor Korean guy that comes to American and everyone assumes that he knows martial arts because he looks like Bruce Lee.  The funny thing is that in reality all Asians actually know martial arts.  As a result of this stereotype, he gets pulled into fighting the Mafia and gets his ass handed to him at every conceivable turn.  It generated a sequel, They Still Call Me Bruce? but unfortunately some kind soul hasn’t put that one on Youtube yet.

Start here: Part 1 of 12.

7. Videodrome (1983): Just like the other directors that I’ve highly praised, this movie is from the legendary David Cronenberg.  He made Scanners.  For the uninitiated, Cronenberg is a horror director that likes to mix themes of technology and seduction.  Videodrome is an FX extravangza ably piloted by lead actor James Woods back when he was still crazy.  Basically, a new type of TV is introduced on a cheap network and it begins to warp and twist reality for its viewers.  Just take a look and remember “Long live the new flesh!”

Start here: Part 1 of 9.

8. Collateral (2004): Just so you didn’t think I was ignoring the previous two decades of cinematic contributions, I’m throwing up this movie as well.  It was good and earned Jamie Foxx the first of two nominations that year for Supporting Actor.  Basically, Tom Cruise is a bad, bad man and commandeers Foxx’s taxi cab to go on a hit man killing spree.  The movie is great, though I’m not a fan of Tom Cruise’s hair in this movie.  He’s pulling a Samuel L. Jackson thing – it looks more fake than Michael Jackson’s cute little nose.  It doesn’t help that I don’t like Tom Cruise either, I guess.

Start here: Part 1 of 12.

9. Robot Jox (1990): We’ve got the other decade covered with this selection.  First, let me say the acting is terrible.  Gary Graham and Paul Koslo are two of the worst over-actors since Captain Kirk.  The movie was made on a shoestring budget, lacks any semblance of a plot or basic common sense, and the wardrobe and sets look like a junior high drama class.  But with all of that being said, it WAS directed by Stuart Gordon of Reanimator glory.  This movie has one saving grace … it features two massive mecha fighting and blowing each other to bits.  That alone earned it a sequel in Robot Wars.  Watch this movie with the volume turned down, invent your own lines, and drink heavily.

Start here: Part 1 of 8.

10. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002): Little did I know that there was a new version of my beloved 1982 classic being aired on the Cartoon Network.  I checked out the pilot episode on Youtube the other day and it is freaking awesome.  In particular, the fight scenes really take up the MotU action to a new level.  They actually made King Randor cool.  Trust me, his fight scene with Keldor (i.e. pre-skull Skeletor) is badass.  And all of the Evil Warriors, i.e. Tri-Klops, Evil Lyn, Beastman, Trapjaw, etc., have been re-imagined to another level of awesomeness.  I highly recommend to any comic, cartoon, RPG, or anime geek to check this out.  After watching the pilot, I’m seriously pissed that this show got canceled.

Start here: Part 1 of 6

That wraps it up … happy watching!