Every so often I like to review the things in my life and place them into a neat ordered list, a ranking of sorts.  It helps satisfy my hyper anal-retentality.  In the past I’ve done a top five of Giant Robots, Eyepatch Owners (no pirates), and even the coolest Magical Swords.

This time, I’m visiting an area particularly near and dear to my heart: horror movies and their leading ladies.  Perhaps the first horror movies that I can remember seeing were Jaws (1975) and Halloween (1978), both iconic in their respective sub-genres and to cinematic expression as a whole.  Ever since, I’ve loved being scared.  I know, it’s a white people thing.  Couple this with the natural mix of fear with booty-love and you get the holy grail of scary movies.  The Scream Queen. [Read Column]

Barack Obama.

Half black / half white.  Unity.  One America.  One people.

What?  Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t get the memo from Fox News.  Barack H. Obama is now officially 100% black, which I guess explains why Colin Powell (also black) endorsed him prior to the election.  So if it wasn’t for the blacks and the Jews … and the Hispanics … and women and people under 30, Obama would never have been elected president.

Here then is my open letter to the soon-to-be POTUS.  Mr. President, Here I Am.  Please please please let me roll with your Presidential Posse! [Read Column]

Its fast approaching the holiday season and what says a festive Thanksgiving and Christmas more than marshmallows and gingerbread?  Add in a batch of spiked egg nog and I’m ready to sing Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer until I’m so hoarse that I sound like Kathleen Turner after her willy was chopped off.  In our latest version of match-up, I’m going take these two iconic goodies and put them into Ludicrous Speed, Supersize Them, and slap them on the jumbotron.  We’re American and if there is anything worth doing, its worth doing BIG.

So … I’m proud to unveil the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man vs. Mongo the Gingerbread Giant.  Booyah, bitches. [Read Column]

I’ve been playing around with making a MotU conversion doc for the ancient, but much appreciated Marvel Superheroes RPG from TSR and I’ve got a few characters ready that I’m fairly proud of.  Let’s start with the king of the jungle … [Read Column]