You ever notice that in every movie that is cool, or another way to say it, any movie with ninjas there is always at least one ninja that has to dress in white?  Isn’t that weird?  Admittedly, I’m a gaijin outsider to the world of ninjitsu, but it’s pretty obvious that in the profession of ninjery stealth, sabotage, and assassination would require a less conspicuous outfit than the Saturday Night Fever starter kit.

Case in point – Storm Shadow of G.I. Joe.

Check out the intro from Enter the Ninja (1981).  Be sure to watch until the end of the clip:

When I saw this as a little kid, I was in complete awe … the weapons, the moves, the supernatural aura of the ninja dressed completely in black with the dark eye shadow.  Now when I see it, I’m actually a little underwhelmed.  First, there is no doubt that the first ninja (in black) is none other than Sho Kosugi.  You may (or may not) remember that I pegged him in my Top Five Coolest Eye Patches column.  You can tell because there aren’t too many martial artists that can parallel his weapon katas with the tonfa or the sai.

But … did you see his routine with the naginata (um … that’s the spear)?  What about the kusari-gama (the grappling hook)?  I would have volunteered these for the editing room floor … or at least at the beginning of the intro.  It should have finished with the nun-chaku, tonfa, and then sai in that order.  By the way, love Sho to death, but he’s absolute shit with the nun-chaku compared to Brucie.

Secondly, the black ninja spends 95% of the clip showing how badass he is with all of these weapons.  Remember, this was the debut film for the ninjas, part of the movement that added the ninja to our cultural lexicon.  I’m pumped, you’re pumped, to see some badass black ninja karate chops … only to have another ninja jump out in the last 5 seconds and kick his ass with a single ninja kick … a kick that dangerously came within 25 inches of Sho’s face.

And third, Sho is standing in a black room and a WHITE ninja jumps out and surprises him.

What.  The.  Fuck.

And thus we have reached the crux of of this article.  How in the hell did this moron wearing white sneak through the shadows to deliver the killing blow?  I have to think that the mythical white ninja either falls into three camps.  Firstly, at the ninja pre-mission briefing, the other ninjas mischievously told the white ninja that it was an artic mission and he dressed appropriately.  Oopsy!

Another possibility is that white ninja is sooooo good at sneaking around that they are wearing white to not only increase the difficulty for a real challenge, but also sticking in the face of the other ninjas (and ultimately the poor sap that’s about to eat a ninja-tu).  You got snuck up on by a guy in a white birka?  There is some evidence to this … in Ninja 3: The Domination (N3D), the evil ninja … who kills 116 cops in the first 12 minutes of the movie, is wearing grey.  A quilted grey, mind you.

Maybe we’ll never really know why some ninjas choose to wear white.  Perhaps in the hollow volcano of the evil scientist his ninja hordes are color coded based on their 401k plan (for you Aussies – superannuation).  Maybe this particular ninja think’s he is going to hunt deer and wears bright orange.  Or maybe he’s the ninja referee.  Could be that this ninja is part of the special ed class.

In truth, ninjas did not wear black outfits … this is a myth based on kobuki theatre where the handlers wore all black to remain invisible as they manipulated the stage props and actors.  If you think about it, a guy running around with glam-rock eye shadow and dressed like Darth Maul would stand out … even in Tokyo.  Instead, the ninja dressed as samurai and peasants.  This is another reason why a lot of ninja weapons are so different, because there were disguised to look like the tools of the poor.  Apparently, the deadly ninja Sam’s Club card was greatly feared.

My theory is this … Hollywood needed a cheap and easy way to differentiate the ninjas to the audience.  It just wouldn’t do to have a mob of black clad warriors duking it out with no clue who was who.  This is why every movie with helmets, always has the protagonist inexplicably opening their visor every 3 seconds.

The first ninja movie started with the traditional Old Western colors, white = good, black = bad.  But as the popularity of the ninja increased, it flipped to where black was cool.  Thus, all of the evil ninjas had to wear a different color.  It’s not just limited to the color of their clothes, in the TV series The Masters the evil ninja (once again played by Sho Kosugi) wore a chain mail mask over his head wrap.

But just as in so many instances, life imitates art.  I’m sure that there are ninja hopefuls in Ohio that are dressed head to toe in white ninja gear.  Or maybe ninjas in San Francisco sporting the sequin and rhinestone ninja outfit.  And the white ninja fad is far from over … the G.I. Joe movie is quickly approaching and Storm Shadow features as a prominent character.

My hope is that there is at least one scene where he tries to sneak through the dark and someone yells out, “Hey, look its a white ninja!  I wouldn’t have seen him if he weren’t dressed in all white!  What a dumbass!”