We suck. That’s right. Human beings suck. And I’d go so far as to say not only do we suck … but we suck hard. Of course, some of us suck more than others as the constituents of the esteemed state of Arizona have proven, but the truth remains. We are little kids in the playpen with the leaky diapers. It doesn’t matter if it was our doo doo or not, somehow or another we’ve all ended up with poo on our fingers.

Now in case your wondering what specifically has triggered me to endorse humanity’s pervasive sucktitude, I don’t need to go far to find a reason. Afterall, this is the same species that produced Andy Dick. This is the same species that created Blossom.  The very same species that assassinated/murdered the greatest of our number (and thereby least sucking) – Gandhi, MLK, JFK, Jesus Christ, Paul the Apostle, and John Lennon.  Specifically, though, I have surrendered to the incumbent suckiness of my race because of the Oil Spill. [Read Column]

I did not vote for Barack Obama.  Am I an avid supporter of his ideals of reform, hope, and change?  Definitely.  I did not vote for Darth Grandpa.  Also known as John McCain.  I loved him as a candidate in 2000, when he was pushing heavily for campaign reform as what I like to call a ‘rational’ Republican.  In 2010, he seemed more keen to carry the party line as the GOP antagonist.  He also unleashed the rampant force of anti-intellectualism that I call Sarah Palin from her icy cave.  I did not vote.

In truth, I have never voted.

And its not because I’m disinterested in the future of the United States.  Its because the American democracy is not a democracy at all. [Read Column]