A long awaited return to my Vs. column.  Where my internal geek fights it out with my suppressed nerd.  In past battles, we’ve seen Sho’Nuff v. Drunken Master.  We’ve seen Namor v. Raiden and Blanka v. Sabretooth.  Hell, we’ve even seen seen the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man v. Mongo the Gingerbread Giant.  Now for our next matching – we’re heading into two distopian visions of the future.  One is a galaxy ruled by an iron-fisted empire and a emperor fueled by black magic.  The other is a cosmic battlefield torn apart by never ending wars by the great interstellar Houses.  It’s Star Wars vs. Battletech.

It’s the Imperial All Terrain Armored Transport Walker vs. AS7-D Atlas Assault Mech.

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I mentioned once in this column that my only superpower was my indomitable colon, a colon with a particular kryptonite.  But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have an array of Batman like skills that make me rather exceptional … if still only an ordinary human.  Call it Peak Human if you will.  Oh yes, I will.  Like Captain American and the Super Soldier Formula.  Some of these skills include the ability to loudly pop my ankle at will (a gift from soccer) or phonetic belching.

There is one skill though that was forged through long hours of pain and suffering, but when it came to fruition was masterfully used in absolute and total domination.  Pillow fighting. [Read Column]

I did not vote for Barack Obama.  Am I an avid supporter of his ideals of reform, hope, and change?  Definitely.  I did not vote for Darth Grandpa.  Also known as John McCain.  I loved him as a candidate in 2000, when he was pushing heavily for campaign reform as what I like to call a ‘rational’ Republican.  In 2010, he seemed more keen to carry the party line as the GOP antagonist.  He also unleashed the rampant force of anti-intellectualism that I call Sarah Palin from her icy cave.  I did not vote.

In truth, I have never voted.

And its not because I’m disinterested in the future of the United States.  Its because the American democracy is not a democracy at all. [Read Column]

Whenever I look back at my life, peering through the cloudy haze of memory and beer-induced brain damage, I find that my memories are better than what reality probably offered.  The colors are brighter, the smells are sweeter.  For instance, when I scored my first ever goal in soccer I can hear the deafening roar of the crowd in my mind, even though there was only a homeless man asleep beneath the bleachers.  I know that this is probably old man nostalgia taking place as I march towards my 34th birthday.  It happens to everyone.

But trust me when I tell you that the the three hottest girls ever created all attended Stillwater High School at the same time in 1994.  Yes, its true.  I was there and remember it perfectly.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present … The Triumvirate. [Read Column]

Here’s a brain dump of a lot of random stuff organized into Top 5 lists.  Exciting?  Probably not.
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