Before continuing, make sure you’ve checked out Scary Moments 10-6 in Part 1. [Read Column]

I watched a lot of horror movies when I was a kid.  A lot.  I was quickly indoctrinated in every sub-genre of the horror film – including the gore fest, the slasher film, the sci-fi dystopia, the monster movie, and more.  And by kid I mean starting at age 4.

Let’s be clear – when I say horror movies, I’m not talking about the Disney scary movie for little kids nowadays, such as the entire Goosebumps franchise.  Hell no.  No, I’m talking about The Exorcist.  Or Hellraiser.  Or Cannibal Holocaust.

I blame my dad.

He loved being scared.  And he loved being scared with other people.  That included his kids.  I remember quite well how he’d weave an elaborate story of flesh-eating zombie Indians that were waiting for me in my bedroom and he’d make me walk back there to the end of the hall … in the dark.  Maybe that’s why I love them so much.  It was my birthright.

So from an early age, I cultivated a fondness for being scared.  And for horror movies in particular.  Here are the 10 scariest scenes that left me Scared Shitless. [Read Column]

One of my very best friends, Johnnie, is African American.  I’m not saying that to get cool points … I’ve already done that on this website here.  And here.  Instead, I want to tell you the story of the very first time (and last time) Johnnie went skiing.  The title of this same story as Johnnie has told it on numerous occasions is …

Why Black People Don’t Do Action Sports [Read Column]

I love MMA.  And not because I’m a badass.  Or because I train in muay-thai … or BJJ … or Ninjutsu.  I don’t invest even a second in combat training, yet I still love MMA.  In fact, I probably love it because of the exact opposite.  I’m kinda a wuss.  Maybe a little more than that even.  My few exploits as a pugilist are 1) beating up the smelly kid in 6th grade, 2) pulling off the cheapest soccer foul on Patrick Lisssinet when his back was turned, and 3) nearly getting choke out by my good friend, Mikey Mike, in a forward headlock while he was holding me underwater.

I’m still bitter.  I could have died.  Or worse.

I love MMA.  The great thing about mixed martial arts is that there are a lot of scary dudes.  They’re mean.  And they look mean, too. But one thing I’ve noticed though after 20 years of watching the sport:  a lot of times the guys that look the scariest … are often the biggest pussies.  Need proof?

Alrighty then … [Read Column]

There is a antiquated tradition involving sororities and fraternities.  One that always confounded me.  And it is the musical variety show.  Sorta like what you’d see during Mary Poppins with guys in straw hats, candy cane jackets, and white pants doing a line dance while twirling a chorus line of canes.  It never registered with my understanding of the Greek system.  Not at all.

Basic Premise: A fraternity partners with a sorority and they then put on a show of singing and dancing, focused on some terribly ambiguous and pointless show theme, such as “Keeping the Spirit Alive”.

Isn’t this bizarre to everyone else?  My understanding was that most frat boys were only concerned with getting stoned, playing X-Box, and chasing trim.  The thought that they embrace a revisionist retelling of Thoroughly Modern Milly baffles me to this day.

Long live Dorris Day, bitches.  Now pass the blunt.   [Read Column]